Day 152

Where have I been?

Doing what this guy is doing.

On Wednesday of last week, the Squee had the stomach flu, and after a bout of digestive pyrotechnics, I was hurrying down the stairs to put the soiled towels into the washing machine so I could get back to my sick little boy.

Yes I am going to rub on you while you're trying to walk. It's my contribution to the household.

In a moment of forethought I shooed the cat down the stairs ahead of me (why do cats insist on being under foot ON THE STAIRS?!) Thinking I was in the clear, I was making my way down when all of a sudden there was a loud 'Pop' and I was at the bottom of the stairs yelling in agony.
Honestly, I experienced unmedicated labor with both of my babies, and this was worse. Way worse.

Not how I felt.

I was trying to not yell too much, I didn't want to scare the Squee, but FUUUCK it hurt.

Anyway, so I'm at the bottom of the stairs, trying to think of how I'm going to get back upstairs, and then it came: 'How am I going to run?' And then the tears came, and the pathetic 'no, no, no, this isn't happening' *sigh*

Writers block is so pussy compared to this.

I crawled up the stairs and made it to the ottoman, mercifully the Squee was absorbed in 'Franklin' re runs. While waiting for re-inforcements (aka people who could walk and help take care of the babies) I nursed Esme and tried to keep my cool.

To be truthful, that was one of the worst days I've ever had. In the top seven for sure. Luckily I didn't break anything, and also luckily I have a ballerina best friend and a physical therapist in training sister in law, so this ankle is getting top notch care.

Chuck Norris appreciates your compassion ladies. And so do I :)

Now for the mental coping. 'Ashley, this is not a running ending injury.' 'Ashley, people without legs run.' 'Ashley, you're not an Olympian, it'll be ok.' (These are all things I've been saying to myself.) I've also been indulging, well forcing my husband to indulge me, with my neuroses. Such as making the bed just so. Quickly hobbling around and cleaning up while he is upstairs changing a diaper. (Shhh don't tell him!)

I've also actually been taking care of myself too. With lots of help from hubby and his family. I've been taking ibuprofen to help keep the pain in check and the swelling down, I've been RICE-ing. I tried an Epsom salt soak, that didn't do much. Actually it kind of sucked because I was listening to one of my running playlists...*bursts into tears*

God I miss it. I'm stressed out and miserable, I feel tired, and sore and lethargic and cranky, and starved for fresh air. I think I may miss the day dreaming the most. Ugh!!!

Anyway, currently, besides indulging in my anxiety filled neuroses, I'm also indulging in 'Florence and the machiene', books I've read a thousand times, brownies, and french movies. All I need now is a red taper candle in an old chianti bottle and an accordionist :)

Great movie.

Actually I think I'm going to go to the Y in a few days and work on arms and my core. Maybe try swimming. Except I have no idea how to swim for exercise...hmmm...

A confession

I like to think that running is my private little love affair. That it's a big secret that only you and I and the sidewalks know about. It feels like a love affair too. I blush when I think about running, I day dream about it. I get cranky when something prevents me from doing it. I make mix tapes for it. I indulge in a completely selfish way with it. If I could lay in tangled sheets with running on a Sunday afternoon I would. But it's not private. It's very very public. I run in public, I talk to anyone and everyone about it. And by it being public, it affects others. In a big loud way.

Like how this picture affects people in a big loud way. *cough* Teaparty *cough*

I never thought I would be here. I remember so vividly looking at the couch to 5k plan on the computer and then quickly closing the window if I heard someone coming down the hall, for fear of ridicule. For fear of the negativity that would come if I spoke up about what I wanted to do.
I remember being out in the breeze on a cool spring day and wondering what it was like to run. Just for the hell of it. But of course I never did. I was too fat/tall/hungover/smoking/etc. I was really good at making excuses to not do what I wanted to do. Truth be told I was afraid of loving it, and then having it taken away. Maybe it's because I was so young and I had so much taken away, but I knew I couldn't bear it, if I loved something innocent for me and all of a sudden I had to push it away so someone else could prove their power over me. I spent so many years being manipulated and not even realizing it.

Now I run for me. This marathon is for me and everything and everyone that I love. I've survived everything else. Now I'm going to thrive during and after a little footrace in October.

Day 142

It's time for...uncomfortable topics with Ashley! On todays list: 'How the hell am I supposed to run while having an uber heavy period?!'

Drink extra water...and pray that Kotex has your back. Reassuring huh?

So I went for a jaunt around the neighborhood during naptime, the fresh air may have been more needed than the run :)

Icy sidewalks and oddly placed snowbanks are no fun, but sunlight and 30 degrees are :)

Think I'm going to spend the rest of the day with Jane Eyre and the babies, later lovies!

Day 141

So uninspired to blog. Blech. Maybe it's time for a blog makeover?

Not much has been going on here in Mile-a-day land. I took yesterday as my rest day this week. And then when I got the period from hell today, I decided to take today too. Mostly bc I don't want to bleed all over the Y.

I should also hammer out the details of my marathon plan. Hmmm...

Day 138

Feel blue. V. doubtful of myself.

Ran 5k in under 30 minutes yesterday. V. proud of self.

Feel a little frustrated, made the horrible decision to get on the scale this morning. And was greeted with...the same number. The same number as a few days ago. Le sigh. I know that I'm on track. I know that I'm doing all the right things. It just would've been nice to magically see a ten pound loss. Just as a boost for my vanity. I guess I'll just have to get my boost from the fact that NONE of my pants fit. And keep falling down at inopportune times.

Did elliptical today. Uber boring. Can't wait to run tomorrow. :)

Day 134

Guess what I did today? Ran an 11:06 mile in the freezing weather with a dog trying to drag me into an almost frozen river and the wind trying to rip off my face? YES!!!!!!

I am so proud of myself. My training is in great shape for the 5k. I'm not totally ready yet but well on my way. :) And now for pictures!

The not frozen river.
Very cold ducks. (I though ducks migrated?)

Lou jumping around in the snow.

Lou tearing after a small yappy dog he wanted to play with.

What I came home to :)

It's time to give the little ones their snacks! Later lovies!

Update:
Just finished 1.27 miles on the elliptical at 15 res. on the random setting. I know I know. I can't help it though! All this 'eating mostly right' has turned me into an energy machine! Off to give hubby a break from the kids!

Day 133

I think today may be a forced rest day. I really shredded (like the new gym lingo?) my muscles yesterday at the gym. So much so that the ache in my hips kept me from falling asleep last night. :(

Who am I kidding? I'm gonna do the Elliptical upstairs after I put the little ones to bed.

Anywho, I've been playing around with technology for the past few days and I came across this:

http://www.livestrong.com/

The 'My Plate' is uber schnazzy! It's billed as a weight loss tool, but what it actually does is all the horrible math that comes with keeping track of calories, vitamin percentages, protein, carbs, cholesterol intake, sodium, etc. It even has a thing so you can track how much water you drink in a day! And how much you exercise, and how many calories you've burned! Convenient? Check. Free? Check. Easy? Check. Love it? YES! I actually got a little too excited when I found out how much protein was in my cottage cheese today (13g in a half cup!!!)

Oh AND it puts all of your data into fancy looking charts and such. So pretty.

We all know that I am not a dieter. Ugh even typing the word makes me want to eat cheesecake. But what I am is a nursing Mama who is training for a marathon, and the more I know about what I'm putting into my body the better. Knowledge is power!

Day 132

Ooof. Went to the gym yesterday with the intention of cross training...we all know I ran. But I must have taped my foot weirdly because I started to get the tell tale tingle of a soon-to-be blister on my right foot :( I grudgingly stopped running after that.

Then I went to cross train. I did leg presses and lat pulls and triceps and this thing that made me look like a bizarre fleshy butterfly, but it was fun.

Not me.

After all that I was on baby duty while hubby was at school, which was a lot of fun. Logan asked very sweetly for pancakes and tried to put his infant sister on a leash and take her for a walk. (????!)

All in all a good day.

Later lovies!

Day 131 (big announcement!)

Did set one of week five today. Went great. Ran for a bit afterward. Tried to concentrate on 'pushing off' with my big toe, pretty sure I looked dumb, but oh well :)

Was having a conversation with someone today and I mentioned that I'm thinking about doing the Twin Cities Marathon on October 2nd. They chuckled and told me to wait a year. (A few of you may know what's coming next.)

*Ahem* Excuse me? Do you know who I am? Are you doubting me? Oh honey, no. You do not want to bet against me. Because you will lose. Spectacularly.

Y'all ready for this?

BRING IT THE FUCK ON TC MARATHON! I'M DOING THIS! (And I can't wait to make you eat your words, that'll be my fav part. Hope you enjoy humble pie.)